Volunteering for an Innovation Grant Project Committee at Mathews Elementary School

This week, I volunteer to be one of the committee member to judge the Innovation Grant Project funded by Parent Teacher Association (PTA) at Mathews Elementary School. Through this volunteering, I learned how creative teachers at this elementary to support the teaching and learning methods from pre-kindergarten to 6th grade. For example, a teacher in the kindergarden level propose a project to raise ducks at her class as a way to learn the birds and eggs. They integrate math, science, literacy, and arts skills as they observe the duck hatch. Other projects to be funded including the GPS mapping to help children learn mapping skills, E-book, Kindle project to help the literacy group to improve students' reading skills and vocabularies and introduce them with the current technology. The other projects are photography, art projects, and gardening at the school.

So, it was an interesting volunteering opportunity for me to be able to see how a variety of projects funded by PTA program at an elementary school.

Volunteer recruitment

Any idea how to recruit volunteer effectively? Here are the tips from an experienced volunteer coordinator:

1. Be clear and specific
For example, we can ask people to volunteer on decorating a silent auction or volunteer to help kids improve their reading skills. Make sure put specific dates and times.

2. Let volunteer know how important the activity to improve the kids' levels of readings or how important silent actions for fundraising.

3. Make it easy for them to volunteer
Ask what they need to make volunteering happen. What kinds of volunteering they like.

4. Show your appreciation for their helps such as by providing a thank you note.

How to Gain Control of Your Emotions - wikiHow

How to Gain Control of Your Emotions - wikiHow

Accepting Your Feelings - eXtension

Accepting Your Feelings - eXtension

ACCEPTING YOUR FEELINGS

People respond to a personal crisis with many feelings: anger, anxiety, outrage, self doubt. They may be hostile - lashing out at those closest to them. Or, they may become moody and depressed. Their tension may show up as restlessness, loss of appetite, loss of interest in sex, insomnia, and feelings of apathy and exhaustion. While some of these symptoms may be unpleasant, they are normal, predictable reactions of people experiencing a loss or critical change in their lives.

The first step to accepting feelings is to sort out and identify your feelings. Some feelings - often those that are painful - may become so buried you may not even be aware they exist. Recognizing these strong feelings, understanding why they may be present, and dealing with them in positive ways are important. Refusing to accept your feelings can cause physical and emotional damage.
stressed man

Reasons For Your Anger

One of the first feelings you will probably identify is anger. Anger is a powerful emotion that is often viewed negatively. Unchecked anger can be an emotional “time bomb” exploding when triggered by little things such as a glass of spilled milk or a spouse asking how the job hunt went today.

Looking beyond the anger, you may begin to uncover many other emotions hidden underneath. Anger may stem from feelings of failure, being unappreciated, exploited, manipulated, or humiliated. Anger may result in feelings of helplessness, worthlessness, frustration, anxiety, guilt, fear, or resentment. Once you begin to look at the variety of feelings behind the anger and to understand the hidden feelings, you can find ways to express your feelings in a positive manner.

Getting Rid of Your Anger

Look behind your anger. Remember exactly where you were when you first felt it. Who was with you? How did you feel at the time?
Ask yourself if your anger is reasonable. Are you expecting too much from yourself or others? Are you looking at your situation objectively?
Look at your reaction to the anger. Was the behavior justified? Did it increase your stress level or threaten your relationship with those around you? If so, look immediately for appropriate ways to discharge your anger. Talk to others about your feelings, change what you can about your situation, view it more realistically, or use relaxation techniques to vent your stress. Read Coping With Stress for more information.
Anger is often fueled by blame. Blaming yourself or others is a way to avoid the real problem. The energy you spend blaming could be better spent on working to understand your feelings.

Damage to Self-Esteem

Feeling good about yourself, or having high selfesteem, is one of the most valuable assets you can have. Self-esteem develops as we grow from childhood into adulthood. The love and acceptance we get from parents, family members, and friends shapes our self-esteem. It is linked to how competent and successful we feel.

Having positive feelings about yourself is easier when things go well. When things take a turn for the worse, you often lose some of your self-confidence and begin to doubt yourself.

Whether it is your first experience with tough times, or you have been there before, you may feel a sense of loss that extends well beyond losing your income. Work contributes to your identity. It helps define who you are and makes you part of a larger community. Working helps you feel you belong and are important because you have something to contribute.

In many ways, losing a job or part of your income is like losing part of yourself. Your lifestyle suddenly changes. Schedules and routines that controlled a large part of your time are no longer there. You lose contact with your support system of co-workers and friends.

Many unemployed people report going through a process of grief and mourning in response to a job loss. This loss is characterized by stages of denial, anger, depression, and finally acceptance. With the help of those around them, most people eventually work out ways of dealing with their feelings. They make adjustments that help them recover from their loss and put it in perspective. Others may find coping more difficult and may require professional help.

Understanding Your Feelings

If you are not used to thinking about your feelings, identifying them during this stressful period may be difficult. Use Worksheet_-6_Thinking_About_Your_Feelings (pdf) to list feelings you may have experienced since your life situation changed. As you read over the list, think about which feelings you have experienced and when you experienced them.

Remember, it is okay to have these feelings. They are all natural reactions to a difficult situation. Recognizing their existence and accepting them is important to your physical and emotional health.

Steps to Accepting Your Feelings

Recognize your feelings; do not try to ignore them. Although it is sometimes painful, confronting your feelings and looking realistically at your situation are important steps in the coping process.
Talk with your family. The feelings you have may be shared by other family members. By talking about your feelings, you can help each other express, vent, and accept these feelings in constructive ways. Together you can provide support and reassurance to one another that can help build more positive self-esteem.
Talk with others. Do not keep your feelings bottled up inside. Talking to others who have been or who are in similar situations can provide needed support. By discussing your feelings, you will find you are not alone.
Take emotional health breaks. Think of ways to reduce the emotional tension and stress you are experiencing. Take some time for the things you enjoy. Include regular physical exercise in your daily routine to help you work off your worries and help your overall well-being.
Make the most of your time. Do not get in the habit of sleeping late or spending your time in front of the television. How many times in the past have you wished you had more time to spend with your kids, to work on projects around the house, visit friends, go fishing, or catch up on some reading? When stress is high and you are feeling down, you may not be in the mood to try new things. But these feelings do not last forever. Once you have worked them through, put your time to good use. Working on projects, starting a hobby, or doing volunteer work can help you feel more productive and may lead to new employment opportunities.
Evaluate your situation. If it looks like your situation may be permanent, shift gears and begin looking for other types of work. You may want to get help analyzing your skills and finding out about any additional training that can help you qualify for another job or areer. Doing this before your benefits run out can increase your prospects for reemployment.
Recognize the need for professional help. The feelings associated with a job loss are very powerful and may be difficult to deal with on your own. Talking to a trained professional can help you work through your feelings and restore your self-esteem.

Source: http://www.extension.org/pages/15956/accepting-your-feelings

I feel therefore I am: Recognize your feelings and emotions

I feel therefore I am: Recognize your feelings and emotions

by patrick on April 14, 2010

I think therefore I am. You probably recognize these words as it is a famous quote by philosopher René Descartes. Being good at thinking is considered an important quality in our current day society. Great thinkers are often icons, even heroes. Thinking is so important nowadays that we think it’s superior to our feelings. We measure our intelligence by the quality of our thoughts. Thinking is first, feelings and emotions are second.

As a Life Coach I know how important thinking is, but I also know the importance of our feelings and emotions. I would say they are even more important than thinking. Why is this? Basically, our feelings are an important feedback system our body is providing us and it’s a pity that most people see them as inferior to thinking. The reason why I think our feelings and emotions are very important is that they come from a deeper level than thinking. Thinking takes place only in the mind, but we feel with our whole body. Our thoughts can sometimes fool us, feelings are often more true.

When I was in my early twenties the company I worked for went bankrupt and I had to find another job. At one point I found a new job and ignored this subtle feeling (my intuition) I had about it. My feeling said no, my mind said yes. I rationalized the feeling as some sort of fear for the unknown and decided to go ahead with the job. This was a bad decision. Within days I felt really miserable, found out this job was no good for me and decided to quit. Had I only listen to my feelings I would not taken the job in the first place. With the next job that came along the feeling was quite different, it felt good. I worked for that company for almost 11 years till I felt I needed to move on to something new and different.

I learned the hard way. I can tell you of numerous other events in my life where I didn’t listen to my feelings or ignored them. In all cases my body didn’t lie and in the end I had to admit, often after a long struggle, the decision was wrong.

Nowadays I listen better to what my body is telling me. I use my feelings, my intuition, as a guiding system. If something doesn’t feel right to me I won’t do it. If the feeling is right, I will. Whenever I encounter a problem in my life, I will look for the feeling or emotion behind it, investigate it and look for the deeper message it is delivering me.

During coaching session feelings and emotions play an important part as well. As a life coach I investigate with my clients what they believe, why they are thinking these thoughts and if there are other possible truths than what they currently believe. Together with a matching coaching tool I will always focus on the feelings behind their thoughts, as they are often more true than what the client is thinking and believing. The feelings and emotions that go with a certain thought can give insight to an underlying belief that may be the real issue. This process can lead to real moments of insight and can be the beginning of the change my clients seek.

I feel therefore I am.

IMPROVING COMMUNICATION SKILLS IN BUSINESS AND RELATIONSHIPS

Effective communication helps us better understand a person or situation, enables us to resolve differences, build trust and respect, and create environments where creative ideas, problem solving, affection, and caring can flourish. As simple as communication seems, many of us experience difficulties connecting successfully with others. Much of what we try to communicate—and others try to communicate to us—gets overlooked or misunderstood, which can cause conflict and frustration in both personal and professional relationships.

Fortunately, effective communication skills can be learned. Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, it’s important to listen well, recognize nonverbal communication signals, manage stress, and stay connected to your emotions.

Effective communication skills #1: Listening

Listening is one of the most important aspects of effective communication. Successful listening means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they’re communicating.

Effective listening can:

• Make the speaker feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.
• Create an environment where everyone feels safe to express ideas, opinions, and feelings, or plan and problem solve in creative ways.
• Save time by helping clarify information, and avoid conflicts and misunderstandings.
• Diffuse negative emotions. When emotions are running high, if the speaker feels that he or she has been truly heard, it can help to calm them down, diffuse negative feelings, and allow for real understanding or problem solving to begin.

Tips for effective listening

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening effectively will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, you can remember the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

• Focus fully on the speaker, his or her body language, and other nonverbal cues. If you’re daydreaming, checking text messages, or doodling, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.
• Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns, by saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.
• Avoid seeming judgmental. In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand a person. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can lead to the most unlikely and profound connection with someone.
• Show your interest in what’s being said. Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”

Effective communication skills #2: Nonverbal communication

When we communicate things that we care about, we do so mainly using nonverbal signals. Wordless communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing. The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

• You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
• You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your message.

Tips for improving how you read nonverbal communication

• Practice observing people in public places, such as a shopping mall, bus, train, café, restaurant, or even on a television chat show with the sound muted. Observing how others use body language can teach you how to better receive and use nonverbal signals when conversing with others. Notice how people act and react to each other. Try to guess what their relationship is, what they’re talking about, and how each feels about what is being said.
• Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.
• Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice and body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let eye contact slip, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Tips for improving how deliver nonverbal communication

• Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words. Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.
• Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with.
• Use body language to convey positive feelings even when you're not actually experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

To learn more about the power of body language, see Nonverbal Communication

Effective communication skills #3: Managing stress

In small doses, stress can help you perform under pressure. However, when stress becomes constant and overwhelming, it can hamper effective communication by disrupting your capacity to think clearly and creatively, and act appropriately. When you’re stressed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you'll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When stress strikes, you can’t always temper it by taking time out to meditate or go for a run, especially if you’re in the middle of a meeting with your boss or an argument with your spouse, for example. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the moment, though, you can safely face any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your feelings, and behave appropriately. When you know how to maintain a relaxed, energized state of awareness—even when something upsetting happens—you can remain emotionally available and engaged.

To deal with stress during communication:

• Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or your stomach tight and/or sore? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you "forgetting" to breathe?
• Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.
• Bring your senses to the rescue and quickly manage stress by taking a few deep breaths, clenching and relaxing muscles, or recalling a soothing, sensory-rich image, for example. The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you. See Quick Stress Relief for more ideas.
• Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to diffuse stress when communicating. When you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or amusing story.
• Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you realize that the other person cares much more about something than you do, compromise may be easier for you and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
• Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away so everyone can calm down. Take a quick break and move away from the situation. Take a stroll outside if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Effective communication skills #4: Emotional awareness

Emotions play an important role in the way we communicate at home and work. It’s the way you feel, more than the way you think, that motivates you to communicate or to make decisions. The way you react to emotionally-driven, nonverbal cues affects both how you understand other people and how they understand you. If you are out of touch with your feelings, and don’t understand how you feel or why you feel that way, you’ll have a hard time communicating your feelings and needs to others. This can result in frustration, misunderstandings, and conflict. When you don’t address what’s really bothering you, you often become embroiled in petty squabbles instead—arguing with your spouse about how the towels should be hung, for example, or with a coworker about whose turn it is to restock the copier.

Emotional awareness provides you the tools for understanding both yourself and other people, and the real messages they are communicating to you. Although knowing your own feelings may seem simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. But your ability to communicate depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on communicating only on a rational level, it will impair your ability to fully understand others, creatively problem solve, resolve conflicts, or build an affectionate connection with someone.

How emotional awareness can improve effective communication

Emotional awareness—consciousness of your moment-to-moment emotional experience—and the ability to manage all of your feelings appropriately is the basis for effective communication.

Emotional awareness helps you:

• Understand and empathize with what is really troubling other people.
• Understand yourself, including what’s really troubling you and what you really want.
• Stay motivated to understand and empathize with the person you’re interacting with, even if you don’t like them or their message.
• Communicate clearly and effectively, even when delivering negative messages.
• Build strong, trusting, and rewarding relationships, think creatively, solve problems, and resolve conflicts.

Effective communication requires both thinking and feeling

When emotional awareness is strongly developed, you’ll know what you’re feeling without having to think about it—and you’ll be able to use these emotional cues to understand what someone is really communicating to you and act accordingly. The goal of effective communication is to find a healthy balance between your intellect and your emotions, between thinking and feeling.

Emotional awareness is a skill you can learn

Emotional awareness is a skill that with patience and practice can be learned at any time of life. You can develop emotional awareness by learning how to get in touch with difficult emotions and manage uncomfortable feelings, including anger, sadness, fear, disgust, surprise, and joy. When you know how to do this, you can remain in control of your emotions and behavior, even in very challenging situations, and communicate more clearly and effectively.

Improving Emotional Awareness

Emotions are the foundation of your ability to understand yourself and communicate effectively with others. Emotional awareness allows you to understand what others are feeling and to empathize with them.

For ways to improve your emotional awareness, read: Developing Emotional Awareness.

Source:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq4_emotion_communicates.htm

Social Work with Volunteers by Michael E. Sherr

The first book to specifically address the relationship between social work and volunteers, Social Work with Volunteers examines the current shift in social welfare services and the growing need to develop effective partnerships with volunteers. As the primary profession in the development, provision, and evaluation of social services, social workers are in a position t... more »o shape how agency administrators, direct staff, and volunteers work together to provide services. Using the groundbreaking Context-Specific Optimal Partnership (CSOP) model, the author demonstrates how social workers in all areas of practice can work with volunteers to create a positive change.